After the door closes
by crysanialyndhurst
Summary: What happens when Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler gets mixed up in something resulting in a completely different future than either of them have planned before? Will they be able to work it out for the sake of innocent bystanders or the love they have for each other would instead further poison their lives?
1. Chapter 1

The door closed quietly and his new life started. He was finally free of Kathy and free of the troubles of his job in SVU. And he was free of his kids. There was his new life. He asked for it so many times, he wished for it. Now he had it.

Elliot stared at the closed door for a second, his breathing ragged, and everyone who knew him a little could easily tell that in a couple of seconds a serious breakdown would start, which could possibly leave him, the small house and anyone near him torn into pieces. His nerves snapped and he started furiously punching the wall beside the door. He didn't care that there was almost already a hole knocked into the thin wall, he didn't care that his knuckles were already bleeding, he didn't hear the shrieks his newfound companions made with horror and he certainly didn't care about anyone calling out his name.

It was not his name anymore. When the door closed, the person he used to be ceased to exist.

'Stop!' he heard the sobbing scream that suddenly infiltrated his ears. He made a final punch, then realizing the pain and the bruises he caused himself, ran his aching hands over his head. He slowly turned around and instantly regretted his outburst. His heart sank at the picture in front of him.

Olivia was backed up to the wall, fear etched across her face, tears freely falling from her eyes, running down her flushed cheeks. He has never seen her being afraid of him. She talked back, she stood in line of his punch when he was about to hit a perp, and she held him back when it was necessary. Now, she was tightly clutching the crying baby to her chest, long done soothing her, but still trying to shield her from whatever was coming up next. And the boy. The little boy was holding on to her waist with shaky arms, as if he was holding on for his dear life. And in a sense he was. And her heart broke that she wasn't able to protect him. To spare him from Elliot's temper. Even after all that innocent young life had to endure she couldn't spare him from further terror.

She screwed up.

He screwed up again.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi Everyone!

The other day, after watching like a season's worth of LAO SVU, I had this idea, and the plot bunny didn't leave me alone so I started jotting down this story. And the first chapter, well, that was kind of a teaser. I hope you liked it, and I would love to hear your thoughts. Now I'm back with a new chapter! A bit longer one this time. And I hope you like this one too. Please tell me what you think.

I am completely new to SVU fandom, I only started watching this show a couple of months ago, but the episodes give me so many ideas! I hope to keep the people in character, though they act through my understanding of their personalities. And I don't own a thing, except for my ideas.

Enjoy, and let me know how am I doing with this story!

Crysania

* * *

'I'm sorry,' he said in broken voice. Olivia was jerked out of her petrified state by the sound of his voice. She half-expected shouting, or him blaming her, or anything else in that scale. After an outburst it usually takes longer for him to calm down. But not now. His expression changed as he looked at the little boy still anxiously holding on to her waist with his tiny arms. He could barely clasp his hands around her but he was squeezing her with all his power, burying his face in her side.

'I'm sorry, buddy,' Elliot spoke up again, first looking Olivia in the eyes, trying to tell her that his anger is in check, and then crouching down to be eye level with the boy. 'I didn't mean to scare you guys here…' he said apologizing. His shoulders slumped forward in defeat, feeling like a coward. These kids lived through hell in the past day. Hell, in the past couple of hours, maybe twelve, and here he was with his stupid tantrum like a spoiled two year old. He didn't think about the terrified young boy, he didn't think about the couple months old baby, and he didn't think about his injured partner. All he thought about was his bruised ego, because he misjudged the situation and the situation blew up in his face. And Olivia's because he dragged her into it again. He really did screw up.

The previous morning he walked into the precinct quite upbeat. He could hardly wait for the weekend that he would spend with his children. The first weekend he would do that since the separation with Kathy. Before he got to the precinct he stopped by the usual coffee shop and picked up his usual coffee and the usual tea for Olivia. The cashier greeted him with a smile and he reciprocated. It was a beautiful morning, after all. He asked her to add two doughnuts as well. Liv liked sweets and he himself was in a mood for a little endorphin intake. And, by the way. They were still cops. What cop would refuse a doughnut?

He took a sip from his morning coffee in the elevator on his way to the squadroom. And then reality checked in. He ran his eyes over the packed place as he walked into the scene of pure horror. There were pictures of tortured women, dismembered corpses and decomposed bodies all over the board with notes scribbled on one every once in a while. He put the bag and the two cups down, and joined the briefing.

As it turned out, the man who was standing next to Cragen was the commanding officer of the Manhattan narcotics unit. His presence made Elliot feel uneasy. If they were working this case jointly with narcotics, then it must be something big. If it was something big, than it was a pain in the ass to wrap up and he could already see himself apologizing to his kids because he had to work in the weekend and missed their time together.

He pushed through the crowd and settled next to Fin. Elliot looked around slightly to find Olivia but he couldn't spot her. Fin gave him a knowing glance, but he didn't say anything. They all listened to the details of the case. Six women turned up battered, raped and dead on the streets of Manhattan. All in a fucking night- Elliot thought to himself and quickly focused his attention back on the board. And then there was that picture. A posh looking Cuban man, wearing a nice suit. Greying hair, blinding blue eyes, square jaw and broad shoulders. With the luck of drug dealers, that son-of-a-bitch must be even tall as a basketball player. Everything a girl could dream of. Except for the danger and death lingering around him. No wonder he had so many girls to dispose of.

Pepe Roldan was the new Cuban king in New York. Good to know New York has Cuban kings. But he was to taken seriously. It was his party at the rooftop penthouse that was associated with the dead women. Ages between 25 and 40. Tall, short, curvy and skinny. Black, white, Hispanic. That son-of-a-bitch wasn't even picky. They were all beautiful though. What was their sin? The most logical explanation was that they were paying off their debts. Did they owe him money? And if they did, why didn't he let them go after? They didn't satisfy him? Was it really Roldan, who killed them?

The only problem was that although they could easily place almost all of the women on the scene, they couldn't prove that they were killed there, and especially could place the killer objects directly in Pepe Roldan's hands. They couldn't place them in anyone's hands, as a matter of fact. Evan after the ME collected around 20 separate DNAs, 7 from one victim, they had no face for any of the DNAs. Not even for the two that was present in all victims. It was convenient. These men were probably Cubans. They probably didn't even have citizenship. Officially, at least.

Narcotics was investigating him for a long time now, but couldn't get into the innermost circles. They were not close enough to know valuable information and far from gathering anything that would harm the boss, the Cuban king. Elliot already hated him.

So how are they going to infiltrate his trusted circles? There must be more women around him, and who knows what happens when he decides to party again.

'These women must be paying their debts,' Elliot blurted out his thoughts. 'and if they are done, they kill them…' he marveled at the cruelty of the world. He was surprised that criminals and their actions can still surprise him after all those years in SVU.

'Or if his men are not satisfied…' added Fin nodding his agreement.

'How are we going to stop him?' Elliot asked more from himself, but the question came out loud and each and every person in the room was trying to come up with an idea to a seemingly impossible situation.

'SVU is landing a hand with that,' Cragen spoke up after thinking for a second.

'Narcotics has undercover cops among the guards and well, those who do the shitty work. One of them might be in the position to take in someone, but…' the commanding officer of the other squad continued the plan, but Fin interrupted him. He was way too familiar with the working of the Narcotics unit and he didn't like the place where that conversation was going.

'It's hell of a lot easier with a pretty lady. Too bad Narcotics don't have one…' he crossed his arms and waited for the implication to dawn on his colleagues. There wasn't enough time as Cragen picked up the story where Fin left it.

'We have a female officer going undercover tonight, and if all goes according to our plans, she will be able to attend the penthouse party of tonight,' as the captain spoke Elliot put the pieces together and instantly felt sick. It was Olivia, who was going undercover for this operation. That is why she wasn't there. She was working on her cover.

Soon the joint briefing came to an end and only the 1-6ers remained in the precinct. Elliot slumped back in his chair, desperately trying to figure out how to get Olivia out of that night's mission. He hated the idea that she was about to be a bait for a man, who might be responsible for the death of the six, or who knows how many more women. He could keep off his eyes of her tea and doughnut that he brought her that morning, sitting on her desk, untouched. It was a painful reminder of his new life if anything goes wrong that night; that there was a possibility, she won't be there. He couldn't take that idea any longer.

'Captain, where's Benson?' Elliot sneaked into his boss' office after the briefing ended. 'She's not the one who goes undercover, right?' he asked although he very well knew the answer. Of course it is her.

'She volunteered, Elliot,' Cragen sunk into his chair behind his desk and from his voice Elliot could tell that he didn't like this plan any more than he did. 'I am not going to pretend that this is not dangerous,' the captain continued when he saw the veins popping out on Elliot's forehead. 'But she makes her decisions for her own. Narcotics needed a female officer, and she volunteered. These guys know their job and they do it well. Now our job is to find out what the hell is going on with this guy as soon as possible, so that we can bring her out of there before she gets killed.'

'Can I talk to her?'

'She is working on her backstory with Huang,' said Cragen and before he could say anything else Elliot was out of the room rushing to the doctor's office. When he got there, he surely wasn't thinking clearly. He knocked on the door but didn't wait for any kind of answer. The knock simply announced his bursting into the room which still startled the occupants.

'Are you out of your mind?!' he shouted circling to Olivia, who was sitting across from Huang in an armchair.

'What is your problem, Elliot?' she asked nonchalantly, further fuelling Elliot's fury. What's his problem? That his partner is risking her life without a second consideration. And why did he even care? Cragen could probably get him a new partner if anything happens to her, but he didn't want a new partner. What he wanted is Olivia staying out of danger. He wanted her safe, by his side. He cared about her. Really cared about her. That is why he cared.

'What were you thinking, Olivia?' he leaned closer to her face putting more emphasis on his words. Huang watched their interaction in amusement. The partners' behavior secretly always amazed him. He knew they were friends, really close friends, but he could never guess how close they were really. Was there an intimate side of their relationship? He doubted, but of course he didn't expect Elliot bursting into his office, questioning Olivia, pretending he had a say in her decisions. Maybe he was wrong. The way Olivia stared up at Elliot had him doubt his previous presumptions. And deep in his heart he knew he shouldn't be surprised if Elliot pulled Olivia to her feet and kissed her. But Olivia broke their eye contact before she answered his accusation.

'Look, Elliot. There must be tens of women in danger. If not hundreds. If I can help them by going undercover and playing a drug whore, so be it,' she said standing up to face her partner. Now they were inching dangerously close. Huang leaned back keeping his eyes on the show. He would probably need to rethink everything he thought about the detectives' relationship after this conversation.

'What you don't understand is that being a drug whore for this asshole can get you beaten up, raped and God forbid killed,' his nostrils spread as his breaths became quicker and quicker. He wished he could shake some sense into her. He touched her arm slightly to make her look at him after she turned away. She didn't understand what was such a big deal about this case. She did undercover gigs all the time. With or without Elliot. But everything was different now. She was away for a long time in Oregon. He couldn't talk to her, he couldn't visit her, he couldn't be with her and it made him miserable. He didn't want to live with a scenario where he had to take his battered partner's rape kit to the ME's office. His heart broke even from thinking about it. And the fact that he could lose her forever if something goes wrong with this case, twisted his heart beyond belief.

Olivia sank back into her chair with a deep sigh. 'They need someone to do it. I am up to the task. Going undercover is _in_ my job description. If this is the only way I can help those women, than that is what I have to do,' she said in a calm voice. She already made her decision and a fight with Elliot would only make her task more difficult and she hated to admit it, but she had concerns about the whole thing without her partner agitating her about the case any further. She wanted to get over with it. 'You know, four out of the six victims had families with kids. These women were not pros. They were wives and mothers trying to provide for their family's well-being. Did they choose the worst possible way? Sure they did. But they paid the price, don't you think? Now let me do my job, so that I can help the others who might be in the same situation.' she stood up again and turned to face Elliot, putting a hand on his shoulder. 'Go back to the precinct, El, and do your job,' she said quietly. This whole case wasn't easy for her either, and she secretly thanked God that Elliot didn't burst into the office, while they were still at a bit more private part of their session with Huang.

She has admitted to the doctor, that she was not ready to die, and that she had very bad feelings about the whole operation. He asked her why she wouldn't back out. She told him the same thing she told Elliot. Maybe because it was the truth, or maybe that was something she wanted them to believe. Including herself. Truth be told, she was terrified of the upcoming days, but there was no turning back. In a couple of hours, she would transform into Aracely Rojo and the undercover man from narcotics would recruit her as entertainment for Pepe Roldan that night.

Elliot was nervously pacing in Olivia's living room as the minute she needed to enter the cave was gradually descending on them. He worked on the case all day after he got back from Huang's office. Every detail they uncovered made him even more furious. And more terrified for Olivia's life. He couldn't bear the thought of her being with that man. What if he wanted sex? Would she comply? And if she doesn't would he just rape her or throw her off the balcony? He was going insane waiting while Olivia was getting ready for the night.

'Stop pacing, man,' Fin grabbed his arm when he walked past him. Fin and another detective from narcotics were sitting on her couch watching as Elliot kept walking around.

'I can't, this whole thing is killing me,'

'Look Stabler,' Fin stood up to face Elliot. 'You are the one who's going to be the closest to her, the first one who can help, and I bet my life she is going to need help. Now you wouldn't be too much help if you passed out from exhaustion, would you?' he reasoned and Elliot knew the detective was right. But he needed something to take his mind off from Olivia getting ready go to that asshole who had who knows how many women murdered like she was getting ready for a date.

'You're right.' He admitted finally, sitting down on the edge of the coffee table. An unpleasant silence sat on the room until Liv appeared from her bedroom.

'Damn, I want a transfer to SVU,' said the narcotics detective as he checked out the woman approaching them from head to toe. She was breathtaking.

'Shut your mouth up, man,' Fin commanded the detective and gave Olivia her earpiece. 'We can talk to you through this. The captain and Munch will be outside in a van with some guys from narcotics. I'll be hangin' around in the bar with some other nice lookin guys, and Stabler will play a high businessman ready for some fun. We will get him into the penthouse to you,' he said holding her shoulders as a sign of encouragement. Even if Fin wasn't her partner, he was still worried about Olivia and what might this mission do to her.

Olivia wasn't pleased with the idea of Elliot being there with her. She knew he would be too big of a distraction from doing what she had to do. She knew he would hate the way she will need to behave in order to get Roldan's or one of his man's attention. And she knew she would hate it too, with or without Elliot being there, but him being there already made her feel guilty. Something she couldn't really understand. Because she put him in a dangerous situation? Maybe. She would like to think that was the reason.

'Lady, you have a hell of a night ahead you, be warned,' said the narcotics guy, as he put a necklace in her neck. 'Cute little thing, huh? It has a microphone and a tiny camera inside it. They don't have metal detectors at the entrance, so you don't need to worry. Everything you see, the mobile unit in the van is going to see. Everything you hear, and say, they are gonna hear,' he said explaining the details. 'I've got a location, I'm gonna drop you off, and the guy's gonna pick you up from there. Understood?' he asked and Olivia nodded. 'And don't be so tight in the ass, Pepe's gonna notice,' he winked at her.

'Man, you gotta hate your life' Fin stepped between them frowning at the detective.

'Just kidding,' he put up his hands in defense, but nobody cared about him anymore.

Elliot couldn't take his eyes off of Olivia. She wore her black leather jacket, with a tight fitting black dress that covered way too little of her skin. Her makeup was heavier than usual. She had huge gold earrings and some new rings he has never seen on her before. He couldn't decide whether he liked her appearance or not. She was beautiful without the smoky eyes and red lipstick as well. But the dress. Elliot hated and loved that dress at the same time. He hated that she dressed up like that because that dress would just get more attention on her. But, God, she looked gorgeous. The way the dress hugged her curves, and the way it left little to his imagination. If it was hard to cover his lust for her in the office, it was impossible to do it now, when she was dressed to kill. He could jump her without a second thought. And he immediately felt guilty for his thoughts.

Here she was getting ready to risk her life, and the only thing he could think about is kissing her neck and pushing himself into her center. Pathetic. He frowned at his own thoughts. 'Let's go,' he groaned and led the way out of her apartment.


	3. Chapter 3

Hi Guys!

Thank you so much for the reviews! I loved reading that you like my story! I hope it won't change with this chapter either. But, hey even if it does, please let me know! And if you still like the story, let me know that as well! :)

Also, sorry that it took me this long to post a new chapter, but somehow I had difficulty getting the pictures in my had accurately into words... Happens sometimes :D But I did it!

Also, again, these few chapters are only like foreplay. If you read the teaser, the first chapter, then it's obvious that I still need to do a lot of explaining before we finally figure out what is that door that closes on them. I am really excited to go on with the explaining, though. I hope you all will hang in there with me, to find out what is happening to Olivia and Elliot!

Okay, enough of talking, let's read! Have fun! :)

Crysania

* * *

Olivia started to have goosebumps as the cool wind played on the skin of her legs. She had been waiting at that stupid corner for what seemed like an eternity now. And the only order she got was to keep waiting. The guy who would come to pick her up, had something else to take care of too. She pulled her leather jacket a little tighter around herself and hoped that every part of the plan was working out, and everyone playing a role in the operation was doing their job.

If it took another couple of minutes though, she would have frozen to death right there on the corner of some filthy ally she could hardly believe they found as a pick up location. The car stopped at a distance from her, and two men got out. One stood by the car and looked around carefully, then nodded to the other, who walked up to Olivia.

'You're the dipshit's bitch aren't you?' he asked as he looked her up and down.

'Who the hell are you?' she asked with a well pretended attitude and a slight Spanish accent in her voice.

'Your joyride tonight, Senorita!' he stepped up to her with a devilish grin, just as an unfamiliar voice whispered to her ear that the guy was the undercover officer. Great. He just dug his face into her neck, and she could feel his hot breath on her skin. She tried to pull away, but he grabbed her by her neck and kept her in place. She wondered if he knew she was also a cop. 'Listen up, there's another girl in the car, she's very young. They just had her mother killed in front of her and her little brothers. She's coming instead of her to pay for the father's drugs. Save her, will ya?' he jabbered quietly into her neck, then he pulled away licking his lips. He grabbed her arm and tossed her towards the car, following her as she walked. The other man opened the door for her, and in return for his chivalry, slapped her ass when she bent down to get into the car. 'It's going to be a long night,' Olivia thought to herself as she settled on the backseat by the girl the driver mentioned to her.

'And who are you?' the man dressed in all back stepped in front of the small girl. She couldn't have been more than sixteen. Now, as they were standing in a better lit room, she had the chance to observe the girl. She still had blood stains on her skin and on her clothes. She stared back at the man with a blank gaze. She was so beautiful, so innocent and so young. Olivia's heart sank as the man touched the girl's face. 'You're pretty,' he drooled into the girl's neck taking in her fragrance. She was shaking with fear. Olivia knew that she has been through hell and probably still in shock, so promised her silently, that she would get her out of there. Suddenly it wasn't so terrifying anymore. There was a face she could fight for. She had someone to survive for.

Olivia was too lost in thought to notice that it was her turn to be examined. The man smirked into her face. 'And who are you, sweetheart?' he asked leaning dangerously close. 'Aracely,' she answered. 'Mmhmm,' the man groaned into her ears and pushed himself up against her. She could feel every part of him, and she wanted to throw up. He buried his face into her neck and before her instinct could kick in to pull away, he forcefully grabbed her ass. 'Ouch,' was all she let slip out from her mouth. 'You have a nice piece of ass, baby,' he said before he stepped away from her. She knew he was casting them for the inner circles and she needed to get in. However, she couldn't, or didn't want to think about all the stuff she will be required to do in order to get even closer to Pepe Roldan.

'Great,' huffed Cragen in the mobile unit, his eyes fixated on the screen. It was black for a short while and he knew that the man was standing so close to Olivia that he was blocking the light from the camera.

'That's Roldan's buddy, Cesar. If he likes her, she will be with Roldan in ten minutes. And if he just grabbed her ass in there, which I think just happened, she's on a straight road to Roldan's chamber.' The senior narcotics detective explained the situation but it didn't make it any easier for Cragen. He was worried. Truly worried for Olivia. Maybe it was the fact that they had a live broadcast of what was happening to her, but he didn't like any second of it. His head snapped up back to the screen when he heard the man talking again.

'You,' he said grabbing the arm of the young girl, 'Are going to be the appetizer today,' he pulled her to his side. It broke Olivia's heart to see the young girl in his grasp and she wished he would take her instead. She didn't have to wait long, though. 'And you,' he snaked his arm around her neck, 'are going to be the main course,' he stroke her chin with his fingers and Olivia held back her breath. Just like everyone else in the van, waiting to see what would happen next.

'Now, the boss has a special guest tonight.' Cesar continued as he pulled the women to a bit more secluded area. 'An important businessman. And you want to make him feel good,' he said staring into their faces. She hoped he was talking about Elliot, although she couldn't be sure, that he has made it to the apartment. 'You do whatever he asks,' he went on sliding a hand from Liv's neck down to the side of her breasts and cupping one of them eagerly. She forced a smile on her face and nodded. 'Understood?' he asked stealing a glance at the young girl. It was obvious who his choice was, and Olivia knew it as well. She also knew if he takes her for his own entertainment, then the whole operation is blown and she had endured all the touches and glances and who knows what to still come, for nothing.

'Why are you trembling, Princess?' he turned his head towards the girl and a realization struck Liv. She's young. Chances are she is still a virgin… Oh God~ she thought to herself and she instantly knew they had only one chance to save the girl. She hoped, that the businessman was Elliot, and they would let him have the girl until she tries to figure out something. She really hoped. 'Go help her clean up,' he tossed the girl towards Olivia and pointed to the bathroom.

Olivia couldn't have been happier for the couple of extra minutes before she would face her destiny. She really hoped the important businessman was Elliot. She had no plans if it wasn't him. She could take care of herself, but with the girl barely standing on her own two, she definitely needed Elliot's help.

'Hey,' she put a hand under the girl's chin when they were finally alone. She raised her red eyes to Olivia's. 'What's your name?' she asked her in a worried voice, but the girl was too shocked to answer.

'Honey, what's your name?' Olivia repeated the question, and put both of her hands on the girl's shoulders. 'Diana,' she whispered in a dying voice as her tears started rolling down her face.

'Diana, honey. Listen to me,' Olivia continued as she bent down to catch Diana's gaze. 'Everything will be okay, you hear me?' She only saw her blank stare looking up at her. 'Diana, you have to be strong,' said Olivia quickly putting a paper towel to wipe off the blood from her skin. 'We can get out of here, but you need to be strong. You hear me?' Olivia asked her again as she was franticly cleaning up the girl. She didn't know why she did it, she didn't really care if there were blood stains on Diana, but she desperately needed something to take her mind off wondering what would happen next to her, to Diana. 'Everything will be okay.' she whispered, and she talked equally to herself as to Diana. 'Listen to me,' she leaned closer to the girl, 'Try to stay with the businessman, if you have a chance,' she told her, and once more she hoped with all her life that the man she's sending the girl to, would really be Elliot, not an even bigger freak than Pepe Roldan or his pet, dressed in black clothes. 'He won't hurt you,' As much- she added only to herself, trying and not getting anywhere with discarding the thought that the businessman could be someone else. Then there was loud banging on the door. Their temporary peace was over. Olivia smiled at Diana, gently squeezed her hand, and headed to the door pulling Diana with her.

Cesar was waiting for them and from the voices she heard, she knew he wasn't alone anymore. She immediately recognized the bronze skinned man from the pictures she saw earlier that day. Thank God. Pepe Roldan surfaced and she couldn't have been happier. Not because she got to her target, and definitely not because there were like ten other men with him. But because among those ten other men, there was Elliot as well. And she knew everything will be okay when she looked into his blue orbs. She saw determination in them. She saw strength. And she saw love. She was completely sure she saw that. And it calmed her to an unbelievable level.

She was jerked back to reality when a strong arm tossed her forward to the men. All the calmness was gone and she suddenly felt like the prey. They surrounded her, they touched her and grabbed her everywhere they could. It felt like they were tearing her apart, each and every one of them getting a tiny piece.

'Senors,' Roldan spoke up to settle the uproar. 'Mr. Willis is our guest today, let him enjoy this night,' he said stepping close to Olivia putting his arm around her waist. He's much taller than her, even with her high heeled shoes on, and she has to admit he looks good. His scent, however, reaches her nose as he pulls her closer to his side and it makes her skin crawl.

'One for you and one for me,' Roldan said bringing Diana to his other side. 'We are going to share them like good brothers,' he continued with a sly smile on his face, showing his impossible pearl white teeth.

Elliot eyed him for a second, then stepped closer to Olivia. He put his hand on her cheek, and caressed her lips with his thumb. 'Nice job, brother. Your taste in women is exquisite,' he studied Olivia's face religiously. He watched her eyes, and tried hard to read her thoughts, but his own mind was screaming at him. He had her in his sight, there was no way he was going to let her out of there. Roldan snickered at his ministrations. 'Slow down, amigo,' he patted Elliot's shoulder with one hand. 'Business first, then fun,'

'And what about her?' Elliot stepped in front of Diana. The girl looked terrified. He wished he could do something to get her out of there, and still he knew if he got a chance to choose, he would go with Olivia.

'Insatiable, aren't you my friend?' Pepe put his arm around Elliot's neck, and the sudden closeness made him tense up. He was treading on a fine line there and he knew it. He can't just leave Roldan to go with Olivia, how could he? But that girl, that young girl. He was afraid if Roldan touched her, she would break into tiny pieces. He had to try. But he felt the tension building in the atmosphere, the Cuban King ready to erupt. He certainly didn't like when his guests played games with him. 'Little Bambi, here, is coming with me…'

'Come on, man, where did the famous Cuban hospitality go?' Elliot grinned at Roldan, but from the glance he received in return he knew he forfeited his brand new friendship. And the race for his life was on.

Olivia knew it too. She could feel from the arm on her waist tightening the grip and Roldan's chest rising up and down with increased speed by her side.

'Come on boys,' she purred into Roldan's ears drawing small circles on his chest with her finger. She knew this could only go two ways. Her saving Elliot's ass from his inability to judge the situation, or getting her ass kicked, hopefully not off the balcony, for mouthing to the Cuban King. And since he didn't move, she decided to continue. 'Why don't you get on with the business, so we could start the fun? Bambi and me are dying from thirst here…' she pushed herself up to Roldan's side, providing him a perfect view of her breasts. He seemed to enjoy it.

'For heaven's sake?!' Cragen exclaimed in the van finding himself staring in the eye of Pepe Roldan.

'What the hell is she doing?' the narcotics detective asked staring at the screen with wide eyes.

'She's trying to get the situation under control by showing off her cleavage to him,' Cragen explained, unwilling to accept that Olivia was playing a piece of meat that night. He hated that she must have been groped by those man in there, and that she still offered herself to the most devilish of them all. He knew she was trying to spare the young girl, and he more or less understood, as he knew Olivia Benson. And he knew she did use her charms on previous undercover cases, but he still hated it. He didn't want his best detective to play a whore in front of his eyes. And he didn't want his friend to get hurt.

'No. She's getting herself killed,' the other man spoke up, causing Cragen to return from his thoughts. And Indeed. They saw as Roldan lifted his eyes from her body, and his hand flew through the screen.

His hand landed on Olivia's cheek, slapping it hard against her skin. She certainly have been hit harder in her life, but the force of unexpectedness made her eyes tear up for a second. 'Shut up, bitch!' Roldan hissed at her as he grabbed her neck and brought her face inches from his. He squeezed her neck so hard, that the black spots already appeared in her vision. She knew it was a matter of seconds and she would lose consciousness. 'This is not a bitches' right party, sweetheart. Your only here to put your mouth to use. And not to talk shit, but to suck his dick dry after he fucked your throat. And then maybe mine. Capische?' he said viciously spattering into her face. And then he finally let go of her throat. 'Cesar, keep an eye on this Primadonna while I have a chat with our loverboy here,' he said making Elliot's stomach turn. Did he just tell his bouncers to make Olivia behave? She was still pale from the deathgrip caused oxygen lack in her lungs, and she was slightly swaying. Oh God, if she passed out who knows what those animals would do to her… He needed to stay with her. He needed to take her out of there. But Pepe Roldan planted a firm hand on the back of Elliot's neck and drove him away from the scene. He needed to behave if he wanted to get back to Olivia, and God knows how much he wanted to.

'I want her conscious, when I get to her,' he stated with a wink as he followed Roldan to his private office.

'Don't worry, Mr. Willis. My boys know the drill. They are not so scary as they look like,' he laughed as he made four little rows of white powder on his desk. 'So, do you want to taste what you're buying?'

'Captain, we've got a problem,' Munch declared in the van staring at the picture recorded by Elliot's pin. 'Roldan just made Stabler sniff up cocaine…'

'Son of a bitch,' Cragen turned swiftly around to watch the unfolding happenings in the office.

'I want them out of there!' he glared at the narcotics detective. He knew this was deemed to failure from the beginning. And now Olivia has been slapped in the face and Elliot must have been stoned. It was only a matter of time that their cover was blown. Cragen let a deep sigh escape his body. He just hoped that they could get his detectives out from there before anything else happened to them. 'And I mean right now!' he barked when the man didn't react to his order at all.

'We might have another problem,' Munch said slowly without taking his eyes off the monitor.

They watched as Olivia's camera recorded her entering another room with Roldan's men pushing her forward, along with the other girl. Now they were out of sight from everyone else in the apartment. Olivia waited silently for the men to say something. But they just gathered in the other corner of the room, leaving her and Diana out of earshot. They didn't look at them. Or talk to them. Neither touched them since they entered the room. The anticipation was making Olivia a nervous wreck. Who was she kidding? There was a king size bed in the room. And there were two men there as well. She had no gun, and those men thought she was a working girl. She had to deal with the situation. She had no illusions. She even wished they would get over with it already, so she could go on with her mission. But they didn't seem interested.

Then a door, Olivia didn't even realize was in the room, flew open and Roldan entered with another one of his man dragging Elliot behind. Her heart sunk for a second. She had no idea what happened to Elliot, but he didn't look good. She couldn't see blood or obvious bruises on him, which further hiked her panic. He must have been drugged. How on earth would she get him out of there alone?

'Hi ladies,' grinned Roldan as he stood himself in front of Olivia and Diana. He placed a hand on Olivia's face, looking intently into her eyes. 'Are you feeling better, sweetheart?' he asked drawing his fingers on the slightly reddened place where his hand connected with her face a short time ago. He stepped even closer and she could feel his ragged breath on the side of her face. He held her head in place by a strong hand on her neck. 'I have bad news for you,' he whispered an inch from her cheeks. Then he planted a kiss on the corner of her mouth. 'Mr Willis here, knocked himself out a little bit, so you'll have to wait some time before you can get his full attention…' he smirked at her, but Olivia caught him off guard with a kiss. She pushed herself up against him and purred into his neck: 'So take me with you. I'd entertain you until then,' she said dragging her hand down to his pants, cupping his growing bulge and squeezing his member just enough to give some emphasis to her previous words.

The narcotics detective couldn't believe his eyes. That lady detective there wasn't kidding at all. The Cuban King sure as hell was having an erection right about then. He could even swear by the expression on Roldan's face that he was in the middle of getting a handjob, and he wasn't surprised at all. Damn, he needed to meet that woman after that whole thing was over. And he was brought back from his thoughts once again by the Captain demanding his detectives out from the building.

'You go get your bouncer and get them out of there right now!' barked Cragen as he faced the detective.

'I can't do that, Captain,' the detective whined to Cragen's annoyance. The Captain slammed his fist on the desk beside him stopping any further excuse the detective could have thought about and leaned dangerously close to his face.

'Either you get your guy, and get them out of there, or we are going in there for them,' he hissed and everyone in the van knew he was not joking. But if they went in there the whole undercover operation would be blown.

'You can't do that,' declared the detective, sitting up a little straighter. Cragen was a reasonable man, but as he flashed his eyes towards him, he had to admit, that the friendly Captain seemed nothing less than intimidating. However, he knew how to play even tougher guys than him, and this operation was not going to just go down in flames. 'If you go in there, you blow almost one year of undercover work. Those guys risked their lives to take down Roldan,' he tried to reason and was cut off by Cragen again.

'And if wasn't for my unit, you'd have the feds up in your ass by now, and believe me they wouldn't think twice to flush down your case in the toilet,' he leaned back in his chair rubbing his forehead and to anyone familiar with the Captain, that was an obvious giveaway to stop and accept his order because he was not about to take anyone's shit any longer. 'Now I decided to help you out, and lend your department two of my best detectives, but you obviously didn't have this whole thing planned out properly, otherwise Detective Benson wouldn't be giving a handjob, while Stabler is high on coke in the corner,' he said without the vicious calmness ever leaving his voice.

'You said yourself, Captain. These two are your best detectives. They know they have to stay longer. They don't have anything on Roldan besides grabbing Benson's ass. If they feel like in trouble, they know how to give us the sign. I mean, how do you know Stabler is really high?' asked the detective running out of sensible excuses. But before Cragen could have answered, Munch spoke up.

'He would never let this happen, if he wasn't,' he pointed at the screen showing the camera that was in Elliot's pin. They watched as Cesar walked up to Olivia and grabbed her hair.

The next minutes, the people in the van watching the screens had difficulty deciding whether they were watching a fucked up crime in a cheap movie theater or they were truly observing the real life happenings of their fellow cops. Even Munch ceased to comment on the events, their silence broken by Cragen's occasional orders to bring Stabler and Benson out of there. But nobody acted on his orders, so he decided to solve thee problem in the SVU way.

'Fin,' he breathed into his radio, 'Olivia's in trouble, I need you to get in there right now,' he gave the order with his eyes plastered to the screen, thinking if he wished it hard enough, the man would stop, because he was not going to watch Olivia Benson getting raped on live broadcast.

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Roldan pulled away from her, snickering at her words. He leaned back into her, pushed his tongue down her throat one more time with an aggressive kiss, and stepped away from her. 'No, no, sweetheart, I'll come back a little later, when you're ready for me,' he put a strand of hair behind her ear, and continued staring into her eyes. And Olivia knew that no matter how good she played her role, fear was burned into her eyes, and that Roldan could see it too, and he even enjoyed it. 'But don't worry, you won't stay alone, my friend Cesar told me, he would love to keep you company,' he kept his palm on her cheek for a second before he grabbed the shoulders of Diana and tossed her through the door he and Elliot came in through a couple of minutes before.

Olivia eyed the man standing in front of the window and she remembered how he grabbed her when he first seized her up, and her stomach started turning immediately. And then he turned around, downed the remainder of the drink he was holding in his hand, walked up to her without a word and grabbed her hair at the nape of her neck jerking her head in his direction. 'You're a fierce one, aren't you?' he breathed into her face, the alcohol he just consumed souring his words. 'A princesa? Huh?' he said sucking and biting her neck, while she tried her hardest to push him away. There was no way she would let him any further. 'No,' she pleaded, but his grip on her chin made it sound pathetic, completely no authority. She hated her own sound.

'No?' cackled Cesar, 'You don't feel like it?' he whispered into her ears and the sound of his voice, his body so close to her made her skin crawl. 'Guess what, primadonna, you don't get to say no this time,' he pulled her hair stronger as he placed his other hand on her neck. And the black spots started appearing in her vision again, as he squeezed her neck. She could see his eyes lighting up with joy as she struggled for air. Olivia tried to fight him, God knows she tried hard, she kicked, she punched him, she squirmed, even tried to bite, but the fact that she was losing consciousness from the lack of oxygen didn't help her cause at all. Complete panic took over her as she felt his hand letting go of her hair and reaching in front of her. She knew what was coming and she had no doubt she was right. His hand slammed onto her bottom, sliding up her dress, and when he reached her panties, he slipped his hand to her front and cupped her mound forcefully.

That is when she managed to get in a punch. No. More like a desperate scratch to his face, but it was enough for him to lose control for a second, his grip loosened on her neck and she slumped onto the floor. Although she was barely conscious, she hated the situation she got herself into. Yeah, Cesar was no longer strangling her, but she was powerlessly lying on the floor. She prayed, just for a second or two, to get herself together, to gather some strength before, she was sure that's what was going to happen, Cesar launches himself at her. But he never came.

After catching her breath, she pushed herself up and looked around the room. There was no sign of Roldan, or Cesar, or anyone else as a matter of fact, but the relief never took over her. She saw Elliot in the corner and her heart sank at the picture. He was sitting there like an old puppet shoved out of sight, his position nothing like a way a human being would sit down out of his own will. So she crawled to him, hoping that she would still find a pulse. As she got closer, she could clearly hear his breathing and suddenly her own fate seemed a lot brighter too. 'Elliot,' she whispered as she cupped his face with her palm. 'El,' she repeated his name this time a little louder. 'You need to come back, you need to wake up,' she begged him, and her voice trembled more than she could consider it appropriate or even acceptable. Even if she was scared for his life, she shouldn't have that weakness in her for him. After all, they were still on a mission, and they still needed to get out of there alive.

Then his eyes flickered open, and she couldn't have been any grateful. Except that he was staring right past her. Olivia followed his gaze, but he was looking at nothing. He was just staring at the distance. He must have been still high, she concluded, and without thinking twice she slapped him hard on his cheek, but getting absolutely no attention. 'El, you need to come back to me,' she shook him with urge in her voice. She didn't like the fact that Cesar left so abruptly without accomplishing what he obviously planned with her. She needed her partner now more than ever. 'Please,' she whispered as she pulled his head into her chest, relishing his closeness and the sudden peace that surrounded her for a second.

And only for a second, because the door flew open and before she could even see who entered someone grabbed her hair, and yanked her away from Elliot. 'You're that desperate?' Cesar leaned into her neck, 'Then why didn't you want to play with me?' he asked his voice barely above a raspy whisper. She was mercilessly pressed up to his body, held in place by her hair and his arm planted firmly around her back, squeezing out the air of her lungs. He dragged her towards the bed and that's when she noticed the two other men standing at a short distance and her blood ran cold. Cesar left the room to bring help. There was no way she could fight off three men. The anticipation took the best of her. And before she could think, she heard herself utter the words: 'A strong man like yourself need help to get his way with a woman?' The horror immediately spread through her whole body, and trembling took over her muscles. Years of training. Years of training was thrown out of the window. She should have never said anything like that, anything that would further anger her attacker, hell, she should have never said anything at all. But how could she do that? It was her life that was at risk, she needed to try _something. _

So she kicked and punched every inch of Cesar as he was dragging her towards the bed. It wasn't more than a couple of steps, but it sure seemed like miles. Then he finally threw her on the bed as she let out a blood draining shriek. 'No!' she screamed at the top of her lungs, 'Help me!' Even if she had no chance to give the official sign, that she was in trouble, this too must have made it clear for everyone following the happenings.

Every touch and grab he made on her body seemed to torturously slow down the time as if she was watching a slow-motion of her own attack. She knew the CSU would find her lost shoe beside the bed, and she knew it would make them think she put up a struggle. Then she wanted to laugh. They won't have to think, of course. Everything that was going on was running live on the monitors of the van. The Captain, Munch, probably the whole narcotics unit was watching as she was getting closer to the inevitable. Shame washed all over her. Here she was, a detective of ten years, and she couldn't carry out an undercover mission. She dragged her partner into it, she dragged the whole squad into it, and she probably had herself killed. 'I'm sorry,' she whispered barely audibly, which elicited a coy smile from Cesar as he busied himself with franticly biting and touching every patch of skin on her body that was not covered by her clothes. But she never said it to him, she said it to the people required to witness her demise. She gathered all her strength and bravery and delivered a final punch to Cesar's nose.

Elliot could feel someone touching him. Gentle touches, he must have been in a hospital. He vaguely remembered blacking out and then, well, everything is black. His vision was not yet fully back, he could only see messed up colors. Then somebody was shaking him, trying to bring him around. Then, ouch, a slap across his face. Definitely not a hospital. Then he heard her voice. Of course it was Olivia. Only she would slap him and then pull him close to her chest. She must have been really frustrated with him. But at least she was alright. If only he could focus his sight just a little bit more, just to see her face, just to make sure that she was really okay. It was a lost cause. He could even swear there was a rainbow in the room. He should have just taken Olivia when he had the chance and got the hell out of there. Wait, her hands were gone from his face. Elliot tried even harder to focus. What the hell was going on? Then he heard muffled sounds, struggling, and male voices. Someone else was in the room? He started to see a bit clearer, he really needed to. He noticed movement. Something black. A man dressed in black? Almost all the men he saw that night were dressed in black. And where was Olivia? Then he heard the scream. She must be in trouble. He needed to get his head straight and help her.

Olivia knew that her punch would knock out Cesar, but she needed to do it. She just couldn't give up without a fight. And if it only meant fighting off one of three men, she still tried, and in the final seconds of her life as she knew it, she figured that was what counted. At least for her. So when Cesar slumped over her limply, she quickly pushed him off of her. What she didn't know, was how the other two men would react. She knew it wouldn't be pleasant, and she hoped that somehow, miraculously Elliot would regain consciousness and help her. Her daydream didn't last long though. The two bouncers were on her, knocking her back on the bed, even before she could fully stand up after Cesar's body fell to the ground by the bed.

As soon as Olivia's screen went black, someone blocking the light to the device again, every pair of eyes turned to the other monitor, the one that received the feed from Elliot's pin. He still hadn't moved, but after they saw Olivia kneeling down beside him, and watching her reaction, hearing her words, they knew that Elliot was still alive, only still knocked out from the drug he got into his system. The Captain wished his detective would get around soon because the broadcast was making him more and more nauseous second by second. Then he heard Olivia say the words he dreaded. 'I'm sorry,'

'What is she apologizing for?!' Munch grumbled under his nose, putting the feelings everyone had in the van into words. Their frustration was getting unbearable. They were watching Olivia being assaulted after all. Fin was still trying to work his way into the penthouse and if they were about to raid the place, they would sure as hell get Olivia killed. She was in the hands of that piece of crap. He sure had a gun and even if he didn't, he just had to make a sudden move and snap her neck broken. Neither of them had illusions. Nobody in that penthouse was going to negotiate about the life of a cop, or two. If they were getting them out from there, they had to get them the way they got them in there.

Then she punched Cesar and all hell broke loose. The two men launched themselves at her and the doom set over the van. Now they knew what she was apologizing for a couple of seconds before. They hoped she figured out something to free herself. She must have had a plan when she punched Cesar, she was a resourceful detective, otherwise. They refused to think otherwise. They were not going to watch her getting raped.

One of the men climbed over her after she landed on her back on the bed. She still had her hand free, so she made sure she used them. She punched, she scratched and she clawed every place she could reach on the men. But he was a bouncer. Employed because he was a huge man. She had no chance. She knew, and the unit in the van knew it. Even if she could fight off one of them, against all odds, she definitely lost her chance when the helpful friend approached her as well. He placed a hand over her shoulder; he didn't even have to use both of his hands to make her stay down. It was simply unfair.

'We have visual from her camera again,' said the narcotics detective startling the others a little bit by speaking up from a nightmare. It felt like everyone took the breath they couldn't in the past couple of minutes all at once. They didn't really take just a breath, they braced themselves for what they were about to witness through Olivia's camera.

'What the hell is that?' asked Cragen in disbelief when he cast his eyes on the screen and Olivia's tearful eyes were staring back at him.

'There's a fucking mirror on the ceiling,' barked the detective suddenly taking his share of anger and frustration from the situation. He really thought they were overreacting at first. That lady detective was a tough cookie. She could take care of herself, or she wouldn't be there. He thought she would figure out something. And she did. But he had to admit, that she could never overpower the two gorillas that tackled her. He really felt sorry for her.

Benson didn't move. She couldn't. While one guy was busy fondling with his belt as he knelt on her thighs, the other put all his weight on her shoulder, and used his other hand to get a grip of her wrists. They left no possible way for her to move. The pain was already unbearable. Like three hundred pound stones crushing her thighs; she wouldn't be surprised if they were already broken, just like she wouldn't be surprised in case her shoulder got displaced from the weight of the other bouncer. The tears were freely making their ways on the side of her face, and she could feel them reaching her neck. There was something comforting in the feeling of the small drops caressing the tiny stretch of skin they traveled through. She was thinking hard what to say to stop them. Talking them out of it remained her only option. But what should she say? That she's a cop? They would probably rape her then kill her. If she didn't blow her cover, maybe she could still stay alive. But did she really want to stay alive after she had been raped? They thought she was a prostitute. The prostitutes are free to take advantage of. And those men would sure as hell going to rape her. Did she want to live after that, with that? What could she say to stop them? She had nothing to say. She was not going to beg them to stop. If she had, she would have lost the last piece of her dignity. So she just stared at her own reflection in the mirror above the bed. Of course. Destiny had a fucked up sense of humor.

Cragen was grateful for the darkness in the van. He just let the tears that gathered in his eyes roll down on his cheek. It killed him that he couldn't do anything to save her. He knew that Fin was seconds away from getting into the apartment, but it was already late for Olivia. He watched as the man pulled down his pants, along with his underwear, and as he pushed her dress up on her waist. When he reached her panties, he couldn't take it any longer. 'Turn it off,' he ordered with defeat in his voice. He just got his detective raped, the detective he loved like a daughter.

'Fin!' he shouted into his radio with anger dripping from his voice. 'Where the hell are you? What's taking so long?' he jabbered but received no answer. Tutuola was probably in a place where he couldn't respond without busting his cover. He really hoped Fin was about to enter the room, because he couldn't bear to listen to Olivia's terrified screams any longer. The monitor was turned off, but they still heard the audio, and there was no mistaking in what was going on in the room. 'You!' Cragen pointed at the narcotics detective, 'Get your men and get lost right now,' he said grabbing on to his shirt and pulling the detective out from his seat.

'What the hell?' he groaned almost stumbling because of his sudden position change. 'And where the hell should I take them?' he spread his arms in disbelief. The captain turned to face him, and even in the dimly lit van, his eyes showed no mercy. The detective expected him to take out his gun and point it at his face to make them leave. 'Okay, okay.' The detective said in defeat. 'They'll go, but I am staying,' he said opening the backdoor of the van and motioning to his colleagues to leave the vehicle. After only the three of them were left in the car, Cragen sank back to his seat. 'I want the feed back on,' he commanded, immediately regretting his decision when he laid eyes on his detective.

When Olivia thought she got used to the pain in her thighs and her shoulder, another, completely unfamiliar pain ripped through her body. She should have reevaluated the advice she gave to victims she had met before, or rethink her judgments of women who had been raped. Especially her judgments of her mother. She should have marveled in the feeling of finally knowing how it felt being raped in reality. But her brain restricted to self pity. It hurt so much. Was he violating her dignity? Was he destroying everything she thought about herself as a strong and independent woman, who was capable of defending herself and maybe even others? Sure. But in that second the physical pain was unbearable. She will probably have time to think about her dignity and her pride when it was all over, or in case she survived, but now she needed to get over the bodily pain. She really did think her thighs got broken under the weight of that giant, but that pain was still nothing compared to the pain she felt when he pushed his member inside of her. Pushed? Who was she kidding? Rammed it in her. She could almost hear her skin giving in to the pressure and tearing up under it. And dear god, when he hit her cervix, she just gave up and cried out in pain. She hoped to all things saint, that he would finish quickly, but she dreaded the next man. He was eager too, she could see it clearly, when she was not staring at her reflection, she was staring at his erection bulging in his pants. She was still grateful. The son-of-a-bitch raping her was selfish enough to only care about himself, and he showed no intention of forcing her into an orgasm too.

She felt like throwing up when she felt his motions getting quicker and more frantic; she knew he was close to reach his peak. His eyes rolled back into his head and he grabbed onto both of her breasts with his huge hands, as if he wanted to simply tear them off of her body. The sudden spreading of the added pressure distracted her attention from feeling the abdominal pain that his pounding was causing, but the new sensation she felt was overriding her pain. For the first time in her life, a man shot his seeds inside her. And she could feel the unusual warmth spreading inside of her. Never in her life had she let any of the man she was sleeping with just go inside her just like that. She didn't trust enough any of them to do so. And here she was, in pain, just raped and the only thing she could think about was the semen covering her walls, burning her insides like fire. In that moment, she wanted to die. And she couldn't do anything, just let her sobs escape from her estranged body under the hands of the two giants.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please tell me what you think, positive or negative!

Crysania


	5. Chapter 5

'Where the hell were you?' Fin knocked the guy into the wall. 'They needed our help in there!' he barked right into his face

'I had to take care of a few things,' he smirked at Fin. 'Now you can marvel on the wonders of time or we can go save your lady in there,' he said and Fin, realizing he was right, he let him go.

'We don't have time,' he declared and headed towards the entrance of the penthouse.

Fin looked around in the apartment after they finally persuaded the bouncer guarding the door that he was indeed the new guy Roldan was waiting for. He knew that the boss was busy, and after not being able to get a hold of Cesar or Roldan, the doorman gave up and let them in. The place was filled with people. Dirtbags. Lowlifes acting as businessmen and half-naked working girls providing the entertainment. Everyone was either stoned or drunken beyond consciousness. The whole scene made Fin sick, despite him having seen plenty of the kind when he was working for Narcotics.

'Cesar takes his guests to the bedroom beside Roldan's office,' said the guy as they got further into the penthouse. Guests- wondered Fin. He didn't know what was going on, he wasn't told the details, but Cragen sounded freaked out when he gave the orders. And after all those bodies in the morgue, he had some idea about what that asshole was capable of. He could only hope they would still find both Olivia and Elliot alive, however, despite all his efforts to block out thoughts of the contrary, he kept seeing the picture of Benson beaten up and Stabler shot in various places. These people were hardcore players. They discarded the dead hookers as if they were garbage. What's ending two more lives for them? The only thing bringing him back from his thoughts was the sound of a shot fired. Coming from the bedroom beside Roldan's office.

The Captain watched in horror how the man was tearing up Olivia. Munch and the other detective had long cast their eyes somewhere else, feeling if they watched, they violated her even further. But Cragen forced his glance right back at the monitor every time he felt like looking away, or closing his eyes to keep out the monstrosity. He hoped if he bared witness to her suffering he could just, maybe if only a tiny bit, take away some of her pain. He knew he couldn't, but he made himself watch. He couldn't let her go through this completely alone. There he was. He has been doing that job for a very long time; catching perps, helping victims, persuading them to carry on with their lives. But until then he had no real idea about what a woman goes through when she is raped. How could he? How could anyone, who has never been raped. Then, however, watching it happen from the front row, he could feel every drop of pain in his heart. How could he let Olivia get into this? He knew from the beginning that it would not end well.

His eyes were glued to the screen. He saw as the movements of the man slowed down, and he focused his attention on Olivia's expression. The grimace she had on loosened a bit when, he could only guess, the man pulled out from her. She buried her face into her upper arm, a doomed effort of trying to hide from any further attack. But he knew it, and she must have known it too, that the other bouncer would take his turn as well if something didn't happen.

After the man was done and stepped away from her, she quickly closed her legs to gain back a tiny sense of modesty. If only she knew that three other men watched her being raped from the van. She will never know that- he promised to himself and kept his eyes on the screen. He watched as the other giant holding her down, let her arms go, and she quickly brought them down in front of her, trying to cover her broken body. But when she tried to roll over to her side, she was stopped by a hand on her stomach.

'Where do you think you're going?' smirked the second man. They just changed positions. Cragen was glaring at the screen transfixed with dread of what was going to happen next. He knew that the second assault could be even more powerful; Benson was obviously injured, who knows to what extent, and the man just watched his friend force himself into her, which probably made him hell of a lot more aroused than when they started. She probably already suffered all of the possible injuries, now the only thing Cragen had to worry about was her life.

He watched as the second bouncer fumbled with his own belt, when it was undone, he touched her. It was all happening in front of his eyes, again. It was like a nightmare. She flinched at the man's touch. It was all worse; she knew what to expect. She exactly knew how it would hurt. And Cragen knew what would happen too. He couldn't handle his frustration any longer. He was furious. Everything that could go wrong with that undercover case, did actually go wrong. And where the hell were the others? Where was Fin? He was supposed to hang around close. He was supposed to get the guy who dropped off Olivia. They were supposed to provide help. And why didn't Elliot wake up yet? What the hell did he inhale that it took him out for so long? He wanted to go with Olivia so that he could protect her in case something went wrong. And now that everything went wrong he was slumped on the floor while his partner was getting raped the second time. And why the hell is he supposed to watch that? He should have refused help when the narcotics unit asked for a female undercover. He should have banned Olivia from participating in that whole whirlwind of a case. He should get his vest and a gun and go in there himself to get his detectives out from there.

'Captain, Stabler's camera angle shifted,' Munch spoke up. He figured he was going to observe the other screen, it did show what was happening, but it didn't show Olivia's expression, and he tried, he really did, but he couldn't watch the terror and pain on her face as she was being raped.

'He must be coming around,' said the narcotics detective relieved that there was something happening that they could talk about. He really hoped that the guy would soon rejoin the living, because he for sure couldn't watch one more guy getting his way with that lady detective. He was a tough guy, years of undercover, and it still made him sick.

'It's about fucking time,' growled Cragen as he shifted his gaze back to Olivia's feed.

Then the man holding down Olivia by her arms, let her go. 'What's going on?' mumbled the Captain as all three of them started frantically looking for any sign of change. The guy was staring in the direction of the office door. 'I hope to God that Fin arrived,' he said waiting for the people to enter one of the cameras' angles so that they could see who entered the room.

Elliot could feel as the lead slowly evaporated from his limbs and as the blur got lifted from his sight. He was slumped on the ground, relishing in his newfound ability to move his eyes as he wanted, he looked around the place. Luxurious furniture, heavy curtains, the city's lights reflecting on the windows. It was a nice place. It could have been a nice place, if a blood-chilling shriek wouldn't have sobered him up in a matter of a second. It was Olivia's broken voice, that was begging, trying to say no, or stop. He wasn't really sure. He searched for the origin of the sound and as he turned his head to his left, he saw it. He hoped with all of his being that the woman spread out on the bed under the men was not his partner, but he started recognizing her familiar features. The length of her legs, the muscles of her arms as she tried to pull them from the claws of the man holding her down, and her jawline. He watched the crook of her neck so many times when she was not paying attention, and his eyes always took the time to appreciate the statuesquely carved bones of her face. He would recognize those features any time, any where. It was Olivia!

Rage settled over Elliot. The man was about to rape Olivia. His Olivia. He needed to stop him before he hurt her. He was suddenly thankful for his cover story. The arrogant businessman forgot to mention it to Roldan's men that he was indeed carrying a gun, and well, they didn't ask. His money was more important to that bastard- he smirked internally at his luck. That is until he heard Olivia's painful groan. He focused his attention on her body squished under the man. Her dress was hiked up onto her waist, and her panties were dangling on one of her feet. He watched with venom swamping his nerves as the man between her thighs slid his hand painfully slowly up the length of her leg and then he touched her, making Olivia flinch. The other hand, as a precaution, grabbed her neck so hard that his knuckles were turning white. He saw the pain on her face, and when her tears started sliding down on the side of her face, he lost it. He might not have the strength and the coordination from his recent blackout, but he sure as hell could shoot an asshole from ten feet. And he did that.

'It's Roldan,' the narcotics detective stated the obvious as he observed the behavior of the two bouncers. The person was about to enter the screen, but the way the two men retreated from what they were doing, and the fact that Cesar was still knocked out, told him that it was the boss. He was right.

Cragen sighed. When he thought that there was hope, that the second man had to, literally, pull back, a third one appeared. With obvious intentions. He suddenly couldn't decide whether to laugh or to cry. He saw one of his best detectives' lives falling into pieces in front of him. 'Fin,' he spoke into the radio, hoping to reach him. But he received no answer. 'Fin, for heaven's sake, hurry up. They are going to kill her,' he said to no one in particular, as he watched Roldan turning Liv back on her back. He couldn't bear to see her getting raped by a third man. He simply didn't have it in him anymore. And then there it was. A loud bang echoed in his earpiece and the panic that he managed to keep at bay until then took over him and swallowed him in one.

Pepe Roldan strolled to the bed and ran a finger over Olivia's hip. She was rolled on her side, and curled up as soon as the two men left her alone. _He did come back. A man of his words.-_ she thought as she tried to brace herself for the third man's attack. She wasn't sure if she wanted to get out of there alive anymore. It would be too much to live with. How could she look anyone from the squad in the eyes? Cragen was probably watching. Maybe even Munch too. She was so ashamed. Yeah sure, it wasn't her fault. But it was. She volunteered. And now her captain and who knows how many others saw the live broadcast of her rape. She will be the punch line of all the jokes in the department. She sobbed into the mattress.

'Oh come on, sweetheart, life is not so terrible,' smirked Roldan, his voice heavy with lust. She had no doubt what he wanted to do. 'Now you have me!' he said with mocked amusement as he forced her to turn back on her back and pried open her legs. Olivia let her tears fall freely. She could feel the mattress dip as he kneeled between her legs. Then he grabbed her right knee and tugged her closer to him, and let his hand slide up on her leg, up right until her inner thighs. And without warning he pushed two fingers inside of her. It was only two fingers. It never hurt so much. She figured she should have been beyond feeling anything after taking in the two bouncers, but she was mercilessly proven wrong. She tried to squirm away from his touch, her action resulting in Roldan's firm grip on her neck. She felt as it was getting more and more difficult to breath and she couldn't have been any more grateful for the darkness enveloping her mind from the lack of oxygen. The last thing she sensed was Roldan putting all his weight on her.

Fin burst into the room without thinking twice. He got there just in time to see the two gorillas launch themselves at Elliot. He heard another shot and one of the men collapsed on the floor clutching his stomach. They didn't have to worry about him. So he and his partner, the undercover narcotics detective, freed Elliot from the grasp of the other bouncer, and after a short fight Fin took a step back and aimed at the man's head. 'Not gonna break my knuckles over you,' he grunted as he hurried towards Elliot.

'Hey Stabler, are you okay?' he asked trying to steady a swaying Elliot.

'I'm fine. Get Liv!' breathed Elliot. He knew he couldn't help Olivia. He was way too out of it still. She was best off with Fin. 'We need to get out of here,' he added knowing the consequences of his actions. If anyone there would find out that they somehow managed to kill Roldan and his men while they were still in the room, without doubt they would be hunted down.

'Where is she, man?' asked Fin from no one in particular, looking around the room. His heart sank as he noticed her. She was lying under the dead body of Pepe Roldan. Elliot blew his brains out, and as a final act of torture, Roldan's body decided to slump over Olivia. Thank God, she was unconscious and didn't notice anything from the chaos in the room. Was she only unconscious? Fin doubted it with every step he got closer to her. He pushed the body off her, and he gasped at the sight that came into his view. She was half naked, her dress pushed up to her waist and there was a puddle of blood saturating the bedding between her legs. 'Oh my God,' Fin whispered in stupor as he dragged his gaze up to her bloody neck and face. Was it hers or Roldan's?- he couldn't decide. 'Liv!' he leaned closer trying to figure out what to do. Maybe if he touched her he would only hurt her further.

'Hey,' the undercover detective put a hand on his shoulder, in the mean time trying to keep Stabler on his own two. 'We need to get out of here as soon as possible. Everybody heard the shots' he explained to a shocked Fin. He noticed that detective Tutuola had no idea what to do with the lady detective. 'Do you want me to get her?' he asked sympathetically. Not that he would have enjoyed touching a woman who could be shattered in every inch of her body, but he could see that seeing his colleagues all battered up was taking a toll on the detective.

'No,' Elliot spoke up, startling both of them. 'Fin, you take her,' he pleaded and Fin knew he was right. By the way she looked; she has been through enough already. He himself wouldn't trust anyone with carrying her out of there, no matter how skilled that individual was. 'He's right, I'll take care of her,' he announced and with one swift motion, as if trying to make the least fuss about it, he snatched the panties dangling from her feet, stuffed it into his pocket, then turned to her. Taking her panties was a cakewalk compared to what he had to do next. Fin took a hesitant step closer to the bed, trying to gather his courage, and figuring out how to avoid intruding her privacy even more, but miserably failing. He knew that neither of them was ever supposed to see Olivia Benson like that.

'Come on' the narcotics detective sighed with frustration, but Fin was thankful for reminding him that he had to act. 'Get her, or let me do it, cause we gotta move it,' he raised his eyebrows giving emphasis to his own words. Fin nodded, confirming that he understood the seriousness of the situation. He wasn't scared of blood, wounds, dead bodies, violence, but it was Olivia lying there. He needed all his strength, not physical, rather emotional strength to get her, and himself out of there. He took the final step and pretending it didn't kill him inside, he pulled her dress down to cover her up as much as it was possible, then with fear of hurting her any more, as gently as he could, he threw her over his shoulder so he would still have a free hand to reach for his gun in case of an emergency.

They left the room slowly making their way towards the exit. They couldn't just leave through the main entrance. It would cause too much of a stir among the guests and the doorman would probably figure out something was off. Talking about the doorman. 'Damn,' hissed the narcotics detective strengthening his grip on Elliot's arms. They were heading directly into the direction of a bouncer. It was time to face it.- he shot Fin a worried glance. Fin knew that second that despite of his years undercover, the guy won't be able to lie their way out of this. So he took his chance, he stepped in front of the other detective and Elliot and walked right up to the guard. 'Hey pal, do me a favor. This bitch threw up all over THE bedroom.' he explained patting Olivia's thigh, 'Get someone to clean it up, or the bossman'd kill us all,' he smiled his charming grin and walked away followed by the other two men.

'Let's get out of here before pea brain finds out what happened,' he whispered and pushed forward to the exit. The stairwell door closed with a thud behind them, and despite knowing that they had no time to stop, Fin commanded the little gang to a halt. 'I can't feel her breathing,' he said with worry in his voice. He let Olivia's limp body slide off his shoulder and into his chest. The other detective stepped closer and looked for her pulse.

'She's got a weak pulse,' he spoke his findings and they all knew what it meant.

'Cap,' Fin spoke into his microphone. 'We got them, make sure there's ambulance waiting when we get down there,' he said hoisting up Benson into his arms and they headed to the closest emergency exit they hoped would lead them outside of that hellhole.

Cragen stood there, unable to move. That woman, who was lying in the hospital bed, was nothing close to Detective Olivia Benson. She was a lot smaller, paler. The woman who was always energetic, always stood tall and whose confident words meant the world to so many people, was now lying motionless. She was broken. It was his time to say something that would calm her, that would help her through the whole ordeal and he was out of words. He didn't know what to say to his detective who suddenly became a victim. He couldn't wipe the images of her torture from his mind. After wavering for a second, he gently took her left hand in his and stroke her fingers. Maybe a gentle act would do more good for her than the usual psychobabble, because besides that he couldn't think of anything else to say.

He sat like that for what felt like hours, holding her hand and staring at her bruises on her arm. He felt guilty. He couldn't look at her face, being afraid of her blaming glance. What if she woke up and blamed him for everything that happened to her? He knew her whole life was about to change. The doctors sent him out when they were checking her out, and doing the rape kit, and they didn't elaborate on her injuries, but based on their expression, he knew that she had it hard. Of course he knew. He saw it happening. Still, the doctors expected her to fully recover. Physically at least. Talking about her mental stability, nobody could vouch for that. Cragen finally looked up at her face. She was sleeping peacefully. All the sedatives the nurse injected into her IV had their effects. They expected her to be asleep for a long time. And for that time he was grateful. He had some time to figure out how to handle the whole situation himself, before he needed to be strong for Olivia. He placed a gentle kiss on top of her hand, tucked a ringlet of her hair behind her ear, silently vowing to come back to her side and then he left the room. He decided it was time to check up on his other detective.

Elliot was already going crazy. Nobody told him anything about Olivia. He had seen that she was in a pretty bad shape, but he was also sure she was going to make it. Unless, they beat her up and she had some kind of serious internal injury. 'Munch, did you see her?' he asked finally growing impatient with his theories about the cartel's connection in the city assembly.

'No, Elliot, the doctors only let Cragen in. I'm sure she's having a long, nice beauty sleep,' he answered putting his hand on Stabler's shoulder. Just as he finished, there was a knock on the door and their captain entered with a miserable expression on his face.

'Captain,' Elliot jumped up from sitting on the side of his bed. 'How is Liv?' Concern was etched through his face. Cragen walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

'She's sedated; the doctor said it's better to give her some time to recuperate before she has to face the emotional consequences,' he explained still facing Elliot.

'That son of a bitch was about to rape her,' Elliot fumed, his hands immediately curling into a tight fist. Cragen was surprised by his statement. He looked at Munch and he slightly shook his head without Stabler ever noticing it. _Oh gosh- _the captain's eyes went wide. _Elliot didn't know, that his partner was indeed raped. _He sighed a deep sigh and made a decision he knew he would later regret. 'Yeah, but you stopped him,' he said gently squeezing Elliot's shoulder. 'So how are you doing?' the Captain asked, but before his detective could answer Fin poked his head through the door.

'Hey, Cap, someone would like to talk to you…' he informed Cragen, and within seconds Cragen was out in the corridor.

'What the hell are you doing here?!' he barked when he saw who was waiting for him.

**So who is it? ;)**

**Oh dear! These last chapters were a pain in the ass to write, to put it mildly. I completely got stuck on setting the scene, but we're getting there. In the next chapter, hopefully. I will really try to get a little quicker with the updates, but I don't promise anything... :D In the mean time, thank you very much to everyone who took the time and left a review! They made me very happy! :) So I encourage everyone else too, to let me know what you think about the story. If you have time, I'm open for plot suggestions as well (I am not saying I don't have everything figured out, but it's always good to have others' perspective ;)) Thank you for reading, please keep on reading, and please let me know what you think! **

**Crysania **


	6. Chapter 6

Wow! It has been a long time!

The thing is that like 80% of this chapter was done by the time I uploaded the previous one, but then I was not satisfied with it, so I kept rewriting it. And I could not find out a way to make this chapter an arch between the scenes of the undecover op and the witness protection program. But I finally got there, I finally ended the introduction, and got to the main plot. So expect like a hundred more chapters...

Thank you for the comments, they mean everything to me! And thank you for everyone, who's reading! Keep up the good work! And let me know what you think!

Oh, and I don't know if anyone noticed, I started another story, To Get Him Back, so if you wanna check it out... :) The second chapter has yet to be uploaded, but I have a solid idea where I am going to take that plot.

Good reading everyone!

Crysania

* * *

Tucker looked into the room where Olivia was lying in bed. He knew she was often bending the rules, and he especially hated that asshole partner of hers, but he under no circumstances would ever wish her to be injured. Especially injured this way. He knew how proud she was. How strong she was, and of course he has read the files on her personal history. He knew her mother had been raped. He knew how hard she was fighting for victims. But his job was to supervise cops. To make sure everything was going according to the book. And to keep them safe. And these two got themselves into a load of shit with this undercover job.

He took one last look at her sleeping form with a deep sigh and headed down the corridor to meet their captain. And to check up on Stabler as well. That one was another piece of work.

'You took care of them?' he walked up to an officer and signaled silently for him to follow in his tracks. 'So what's the plan with them?' he asked heading towards Stabler's room.

'Uhm…' the man hesitated for a second. 'They are actually in the waiting area right now,' he admitted to the great dislike of Tucker. 'I need more time to find a place for them, sir…' he said and just as he finished the captain of the sex crimes unit exited the hospital room and headed towards them. He could feel his rage, but he wasn't exactly sure towards whom it was directed. By the way the lieutenant tensed beside him though, he decided they were sharing this rewarding task.

'Captain Cragen,' the detective held out his hand to the captain and after eyeing it for a second he took it. He knew the guy. He was the one who was the driver that night. He picked up Olivia, and he helped Fin get them out from the penthouse. He also remembered the way he felt her up. And he remembered as well, that when Fin needed him, he disappeared. Cragen knew that he helped, and probably never wished for anything to happen to either of his detectives but since he was pissed at the whole Narcotics unit, he couldn't help himself to have suspicions about him. 'I'm Lieutenant Michael Brooks,' the detective said. _Great. So he's a lieutenant. Then he should have been on top of his game.-_ Cragen marveled to himself, but before he could get to any further conclusions, Tucker interrupted his thoughts.

'Good. The problem is that after your detectives screwed up, the mob put a 500-500 grand on each of them…' Tucker declared nonchalantly and the blood drained from Cragen's face for a second.

'What are you talking about?' Cragen asked in disbelief as the bile was rising in his throat. 500 thousand is a lot of money. And there are a lot of people in the circles of that Cuban king… If he had the whole Narcotics unit in front of him in that moment, he would probably strangle them one by one. He had difficulty coming up with any kind of positive outcome, so he changed his attitude. 'So what are you suggesting?'

'At this point they should seriously consider the option of witness protection. That is the only way we could protect them,'

'You know that if I could, I would order them to pick a cave somewhere in Siberia and stay there until it's all settled, but it is not my decision. They have to make this one for themselves.' said the Captain; his voice full of frustration. He knew his detectives; there was no way on earth they would give in to witness protection.

'What decision?' Stabler joined the circle.

He was now fully dressed. He was getting bored out of his skull there, nobody told him what happened with the case and the doctors didn't let him see Olivia either. Something felt off, and when he saw Tucker with that other guy talking to Cragen, he knew he had to know what they were talking about. After all it was probably his life involved as well. Tucker was going after his shield again? He did use drugs while being undercover. And he wasn't there to take care of his partner, when the main reason for him going undercover was watching Benson's back. Yeah, he failed. And he certainly hoped that Tucker was not there to announce that Olivia… that she was gone. Who cared about his shield anymore? Why on earth they wouldn't let him see his partner? His captain looked at him with worry in his eyes. He rarely did that, at least he rarely let it show, so Elliot knew there was something big going on. 'Something happened to Olivia?' he asked suddenly as he couldn't let go of his previous train of thoughts.

'Elliot, the Cubans offered money to anyone who eliminated you and Benson,' said Cragen as matter of factly as he could. How else could have he just disclose this information? That gang is probably more organized than the NYPD. If they wanted someone killed, then they probably found a way to get them killed. He might as well say goodbye to his detectives.

Stabler didn't say a word. He wasn't sure what to. He knew he wasn't aware of all the facts of the story; he didn't know what was going on with his partner, he didn't know how did the whole case end, if it ended at all, heck, he didn't even remember what happened after Roldan made him sniff up something…

Tucker observed the reaction of the detective closely. Stabler was a pain in the ass, and he close to never second guessed his own actions, but then and there the lieutenant could swear that he saw the detective waver. Even though Tucker would never say it, but he really hoped they would both seriously consider taking the offered witness protection, because at the current state of things, he couldn't truthfully hope for a positive outcome for them. 'Why don't we take this somewhere more private,' he said and headed towards Stabler's hospital room. 'I need the room,' he barked to Munch and Fin and waited for the others to enter the room after him. When there was only the four of them, he continued: 'It is now the time to get into witness protection. You are both in hospital, a lot of people saw you leaving the scene in a pretty bad shape, you could get away with saying you died in the line of duty. You'll have your pensions and start a new life somewhere away from here,' he explained looking for any kind of reaction from Stabler.

'Are you fucking kidding me?!' he snapped after a couple of silent seconds. 'And what about my family? I have a one year old? What are they supposed to do?!' Elliot yelled running up and down in the small ward.

'She was raped, wasn't she?' Fin asked after walking silently next to Munch for a while. Tucker sent them out of the room and they decided they would check up on Benson. He couldn't forget the image of Olivia lying on the bed, unconscious. Although, she was almost naked, there was nothing arousing in the picture. Did he think she was a beautiful woman? Sure. Did he steal a glance at her cleavage when she leaned in for something? Of course. Which straight man wouldn't?! But his eyes were fixated on the bloody linen between her legs, and he couldn't wait to cover her up. He was afraid he would look somewhere he was not supposed to. Obviously, he saw everything he was never supposed to. And he was heartbroken. Maybe if he got there earlier. But he didn't. And the damage was done. When Munch didn't answer, he knew he was asking the wrong question. 'How many?' he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, remembering that besides Elliot, there were four men in the room with her. _Jesus Christ…_

'Believe me, you've seen enough,' sighed Munch stopping for a second to face his partner. 'You don't need those images in your head,' he put a hand on Fin's shoulder and he let what he has said sink in.

'Excuse me,' Fin broke the silence that emerged on them after a few seconds when he saw a nurse entering Olivia's room. 'Excuse me, sir. Could you update us on her status?' he asked heading towards the man. But instead of answering, the nurse turned around and started sprinting down the hallway. After sharing a quick glance, Fin and Munch silently agreed that they need to get him, and started running after him. Why the hell did he run away?

Fin caught up to him and knocked him into the nearest wall. No ID, only a syringe in his pocket. 'I suppose that is not saline water…' Munch hummed from behind him and he had to agree. 'I'll call the captain,' he said taking out his phone from his pocket. That case was getting more and more twisted. He didn't like the array of possible outcomes.

The frustration could be felt in the room. Elliot was just nervously walking up and down contemplating his choices. 'Do you really expect me to abandon my family? To let them think that I died, when I would be doing who knows what, who knows where?!' he buried his face in his hands and took a deep breath. 'It's easy to hide up Benson! She has basically no ties outside her job. You could practically send her to Alaska,' he vented to no one in particular, but mostly saying his thoughts out loud.

'Elliot, you're overstepping,' Cragen warned him. He understood Stabler's frustration, but he was wrong. 'Remember that no one forced you to go in there. It was your choice, and it is certainly not Olivia's fault. You can't blame her. She got it pretty bad, and believe me she will blame herself when she wakes up…' the Captain explained, forgetting that Stabler didn't know the extent of her injuries, and he already expected the inquiries from her partner. Only to be saved by his phone ringing. He answered.

'What are you talking about?!' he yelled into the phone, getting both Stabler's and Tucker's attention. He listened to the details and headed out of the room almost running, without saying a word, Tucker, Brooks and Stabler following closely, sensing that something serious happened. Lieutenant Brooks, however headed to a different direction. A fact which didn't go unnoticed by either Cragen or Elliot. The Captain frowned at his actions looking behind his back for a second; what else can be more important than his detectives' future? After all, the Narcotics unit dragged them into this mess, and suddenly the last rat left the sinking ship as well. Nobody was speaking.

'Cap,' Elliot caught up to him, trying to ask what got him so upset. 'Captain,' he shouted grabbing his arm to stop him, shaking up from his fuming. 'What happened?'

'Someone tried to inject something into Olivia's IV,' he explained and without another word they continued on their way to Benson's room. The hospital police was already there, holding down a man in nurse uniform. Munch was speaking to another nurse and Fin was in the room with a doctor checking Olivia's vitals. 'It was potassium chloride,' Munch approached them when he saw them standing in front of the room.

'The same thing they use for the lethal injection,' Tucker marveled at the fact. 'Detective Stabler, now you see that they are not joking here. You can refuse witness protection, but then you'll die in a matter of a week,' he stated matter of factly, but everyone standing there knew he was right. Even Elliot did. 'Captain,' Tucker turned to Cragen with a huge frown on his face. 'Since Benson is not in any state to decide about her future, I will be ordering her to enter witness protection,'

Elliot was just staring at her through the window. He couldn't believe she was lying there pale, motionless and broken. The last time he saw her, sure she was unconscious, but he really thought that maybe she was punched hard or something. She did have bruises on her face, but she also had bruises all over her skin that was out of the hospital gown. She was hooked up to several machines and monitors. It was sure as hell not only a punch- Elliot figured to himself. But what could have happened to her?

How could they possibly expect him to leave everything behind? He knew Kathy would take care of his kids. He had no doubt of that. She was a good mother. But still, how could he let them believe he's dead, when most likely one day he would come back to them? And how could he possibly leave, when he doesn't know what is going on with his partner? How could he let her just go? Was she even only sleeping? Who would take care of her while she was recuperating?

'As far as I know, you are not so close with your wife anymore, Detective. One would think, that would make it easier for you to leave,' Tucker walked up behind him and he could feel his icy stare on his neck. His words didn't help either. He was about to turn around and punch Tucker, when he saw Brooks walking up to them with two children. One only a baby. The other wasn't older that 6 either. What the hell are they doing there?

'What are they doing there?' asked Tucker as if he was reading Stabler's thoughts.

'I figured there was some development when captain Cragen rushed out of the room, so I thought they would be safer with all the officers around,' he explained holding both kids tightly.

'Who are these children?' Cragen walked up to them as well keeping his eyes on the little boy grasping the huge lieutenant's hand.

'Do you remember Diana? The other girl who was with Detective Benson?' Brooks stepped a bit closer and away from the little boy, so that he would remain out of earshot. He didn't need more awful things in his life after that day. 'These are her little brother and baby sister. Their father owes thousands to Roldan. He had their mother killed, and probably Diana is gone as well. They are the only things left Roldan could make their father pay…' He didn't need to finish the story. They all understood. He saved them. Even though this man has been undercover for the Cuban king for almost a year, he still had feelings. He still believed he could do something good in the world. That he could still save innocent lives.

Elliot watched as the little boy stood firmly behind the lieutenant's leg. He lived through the day that would qualify as the worst day of anyone's life, and here he was. Still standing. Still trusting. Still not crying. And a sudden idea came to his mind.

'What are they doing?!' he exclaimed when he saw that a bunch of nurses and a doctor entered Olivia's room. 'What's going on?' he burst into the room questioning the startled medical staff.

'We are preparing her for transportation. The marshals are going to take her to an unknown location, and hence her state, it would be easier if she stayed sleeping on the way there,' the doctor explained calmly holding up the tray of tranquilizers and sleeping pills.

'No, no.' Elliot shook his head, still thinking of the other nurse, who just minutes ago tried to kill Olivia. 'Stop,' he added with new authority in his voice. 'I need you to wait a little before you give her all of that. I need to discuss something with my superiors,' he said leaving the room abruptly.

'Fine,' he sighed stopping next to Tucker and Cragen. 'I'll go into witness protection. But Olivia is coming with me,' he stated obviously expecting no objection. He saw the doubts flashing through Cragen's face, and the frown reappearing on Tucker's. 'I don't have a medical degree, but she obviously needs to be taken care of,' he added. Elliot felt like he was arguing for his future. And at that moment he couldn't imagine his life without Olivia being in it. And a future where they were stuck together happened to be the best outcome for everyone. Including the two children. 'I could take care of her, we could watch out for each other, and we could take the two kids. Pretend to be a family.' His voice was becoming more and more desperate as he didn't receive any kind of response from either Cragen or Tucker. 'Listen to me, this is the best option. Who would you find to take care of her? Where would you put the kids? This is the best solution,' he leaned closer to Tucker as he was talking. He knew that Cragen had no saying in this matter. He had to persuade Tucker.

Tucker's icy blue eyes were staring back at him, eagerly trying to read his mind, trying to guess whether he was completely in, or he was just trying to play the hero. He knew Stabler and Benson had a special relationship, but here they were; Stabler only willing to leave his family, if he could stay with Benson. He never thought it was this serious. And in that moment Tucker realized that the two detectives might be too close to each other, which meant he would need to look into that, unless he agreed to Stabler's proposal and ship them out somewhere for good. 'Fine,' Tucker nodded finally. Elliot kept his stare for a second, then nodded as well.

'I want to talk to Olivia,' added Elliot bringing his glance to Cragen.

'Elliot, it might be for the better if she's sleeping on the way to… uhm, your new destination.' He said and stepped closer to Elliot, putting a hand on his shoulder. 'She went through a lot of things. She needs to rest,' he stopped and took a deep breath. Suddenly the flooring became really interesting for him. 'Elliot, you will need to be strong for the both of you,'

'Olivia is a strong woman, we will pull through,'

'I know she is strong. But she has never been under these circumstances. Neither have you,' said the Captain looking straight into Elliot's eyes. And he was right. It felt like they were having a father-son talk, before the newlyweds left to build their own life. But in that case, it was a decision they made together. Here, he was the one deciding over all of their futures. He needed to speak at least to Olivia. He needed to know if she was okay. If she was okay with going into witness protection. If she would consider staying with him after he screwed up and couldn't protect her. To apologize.

'I need to talk to her, Cap,' Elliot looked him once more in the eyes. And Cragen nodded.

Cragen and Elliot watched with great anticipation as the nurse removed the bag containing the tranquilizers from the other end of the tubes Olivia was connected to, and replaced it with another which reduced the effect of the medication that she received in the past couple of hours and which kept her sedated all the time. 'It's only a matter of time,' the nurse chimed smiling at the two men and left the room behind unaware of how many tragedies were about to happen in that small space. Neither of the men smiled back though.

Only fifteen minutes passed and they saw as a frown appeared on her face. Probably the pain- Cragen noted to himself, and he suddenly felt an urge to run away. How could he just stand there calmly and wait for his detective to wake up from one nightmare to the other, when he failed to guarantee her safety? Well of course he was not the only one responsible for what happened, but he was also responsible. He could have said no when she volunteered. But he didn't. And the thought of not being able to keep an eye on her while she recovers killed him even further.

Elliot was still staring at the bruises on her skin. It looked like they strangled her. What if they broke her neck and she could no longer move? No. That is not a possibility. She could still have a concussion. But then the doctors wouldn't have put her to sleep. There were no obvious broken limbs, no plasters. Her ribs could be broken. Which meant she must have had some kind of internal injuries. Who knows what happened to her. Cragen still only told him that she was beaten up by the two bodyguards, and that she had a minor surgery. He didn't clarify. And it killed him.

But then Olivia stirred. She let out a quiet groan in response. She was definitely coming around. And Cragen dreaded the moment she did. He dreaded the look in her eyes, the words that would first leave her mouth. Or the light and the determination to fight missing from her soul.

'Captain,' she stated, as if a greeting. And it was. Like when two people met for the first time.

'Liv,' Elliot rushed to her side taking her hand into his. 'Oh my God,' he sighed ' thought you would never wake up,' he placed a small kiss on the top of her hand further twisting Cragen's heart. He just wanted to tell him what horrors she lived through, how those monsters tore her apart, and order him to be there for her, to help her heal, because he knew the only person who could really help her, was Elliot, but he couldn't. She didn't have a choice in letting them know the darkest moments of her life, but she had a say in what Elliot needed to know and he didn't. So Cragen just smiled a sad smile and stepped closer to her bed. And she looked up at him, and he didn't see blame there. And he didn't see the light in her eyes. Just a hollow gaze behind a light curtain of shame. It took all his power to will back the tears that were about to escape.

'How are you feeling Olivia?' he asked looking down on her.

'I've been better,' she whispered in broken voice, trying to force a smile on her face, but failing miserably. There was not a single feature on her that would remind him of the detective, who just a day ago so confidently, so fiercely believed that she could bring down the Cuban king.

'Olivia, you need to rest, but there is something that couldn't wait, we needed to wake you up,' Cragen explained and she nodded in response, so he continued. He needed to tread lightly, because he didn't know how much she could take after all she has been through. 'After you passed out,' he started and Olivia closed her eyes. She didn't want to remember anything that happened there. And she didn't want to think about the fact that Cragen probably saw it all happen over the monitors. She wanted to die. He watched as a single tear drop made its way down her cheek. Elliot reached out to wipe it off, but when he touched her face, she flinched away. 'I'm okay,'

'Okay,' Elliot looked at her trying to figure out what just happened. 'Roldan tried to rape you while you were out, so I shot him.' he stated matter of factly not knowing how much what he just told her hurt Olivia. It was not only the two bodyguards, but Roldan as well? She didn't remember that. Why couldn't she remember that? She was already blacked out? 'So now, there's 500 thousand bounty on both of us,'

'Liv, Tucker wants both of you to go under witness protection,' Cragen spoke up, interrupting Elliot. He knew that Benson was still not completely out of it, she didn't need to know the whole story right then. What she needed to do was say yes to Elliot's crazy plan, so that they could start the operation.

'Witness protection?' she gasped in disbelief. Things really got screwed up in a day. 'I can't just leave everything behind,' she wiped the tears already escaping her eyes.

'Olivia, it is for your own protection,' answered the Captain

'So tell me what else do I still have to lose?' she cried and Cragen could hardly stand to break down himself. She was staring into his eyes and the emptiness he saw there was breaking his heart. Elliot noticed their exchange. Of course he did. But he didn't know what to make out of it. 'I don't need witness protection,' she exhaled, considering the subject closed.

'Liv,' Stabler tried to drag her attention away from their captain. 'Listen to me,' he said softly when he achieved nothing by saying her name. 'The baby sister and brother of Diana are also going under protection,' he knew that if anything, the kids' involvement would change her mind. 'If you're willing to play along, the four of us could stay somewhere as a family,' he explained eagerly looking for something, anything in her expression that would assure him of her thoughts. There were kids involved. Any other time she would jump at an opportunity where she could protect children. And now she was just staring back at him.

'I'm not sure I can take care of two little children now,' she said and turned her head away. What the hell happened to her?- Elliot was dying to actually ask, but deep down he dreaded to hear the answer.

'Liv, look at me,' he said and placed a finger under her chin. 'Liv, you don't have to. I'm going to take care of them, but I would like you to be there as well. So we could protect them when the time comes,'

'And what if the time never comes? We are just going to jump into a new life, going to pretend that we're a happy family for the rest of our lives?!' she stared back at him with a hollow gaze, yet he has never felt so uncomfortable under her scrutiny. 'So tell me, Elliot, are you going to just leave your family behind like that? Eli? You are going to miss all of his life while you're playing house with me and two complete strangers…' her words carrying every intention of hurting him. She needed to cause pain, to make someone feel as miserable as she was feeling. And her words had their desired effect. She saw the hurt in his eyes and she regretted the venom with which she spoke. It was an impossible situation that they were in and the decision Elliot made was probably the hardest one of his life.

Elliot suddenly remembered Cragen's words, that he needed to be strong for the both of them. And he intended to do just that. He sat on the edge of her bed, and he watched as Olivia subconsciously pulled away from him. He observed the space between then for a second. 'I know that, Olivia,' he began, using her full name, he rarely did that. She went too far. 'But if I don't do something as soon as I walk out of the hospital door I'd have a bullet in my head and then I would miss Eli's milestones for sure,' he sighed a deep sigh and desperately searched for her eyes, unable to catch her gaze as she kept them averted. 'Returning one day is the best outcome I can hope for now,' he explained and although he didn't think it was the best option, he went on: 'And don't think they are not going to come for us,' he said in a serious tone. 'They already tried to kill you since you're here,'

'Elliot!' Cragen barked from the background. Until he spoke up, both of them forgot that he was still in the room. He was observing the conversation between hid detectives silently. He knew that they have to work this out and he hoped for dear god, that Olivia would play along with Elliot's plans, because at least she would have him with her to help her. 'Liv, witness protection is not an option here.' he stepped closer, steering the dialogue into a different direction before Elliot could elaborate on the previous incident. She didn't need to know that. It's not yours, or not my decision. It came from upstairs. What you can decide is if you want to go with Elliot and the two kids, or alone, completely new beginning,' he explained and he didn't have to tell which one he favored.

Benson nodded exhaustedly. 'Fine, you already made this decision for me, so go on make more. I don't care,' she said and crossed her arms protectively around her torso.

'I need you to be sure, Liv. Are you okay with my plan? Are you coming with me?' asked Elliot leaning forward to try and look into her eyes.

'Do I have another choice?' she looked at him finally. Elliot nodded in response. He knew that this was to closest thing of a consent he was going to get from her now. But he hoped that after all the medication wore off, she would be a bit more content with their future. Because he hated to admit it, but under different circumstances, he would be ecstatic for an opportunity like this.


End file.
